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This is something that I have had a lot of experience with lately. Over the last year or two I have learned that if you want to attract new and better relationships into your life you sometimes have to let go of some of the older more limiting relationships that you currently have. Wether you want new relationships at work, new friends, or a new special someone, it’s often necessary to eliminate some of the less desirable relationships that you already have in order to attract people and relationships that are more congruent with who you are and what you want to experience.
Letting go of old relationships can be difficult. You may have spent many years building unfulfilling relationships with friends or lovers and it’s hard to let go of them even if they do not resonate with you anymore. People change throughout their lives and are always growing in one way or another. Many times it’s possible for people to grow in different directions, leaving relationships in limbo. This is quite normal but it’s important to realize when this is happening and not cling to an unhealthy relationship no matter how difficult it may seem to let it go.
A good way to tell if a relationship is worth keeping or not is to notice wether you feel better or worse after spending some time with someone. If every time you spend a day with a certain friend you finish feeling worse than you did before you were with them, then that relationship should be dropped quick! This is a sure sign that the relationship with this person is unfulfilling and is taking up time that could be better spent creating stronger more healthy relationships with people who resonate better with you.
The free time you gain from removing undesirable relationships from your life will make room for more positive ones to move in and fill the void. You may feel lonely or unhappy at first to see some of the old relationships die, but you know that it will only attract new relationships for you to explore and the loneliness will subside. You can think of it sort of like a vacuum effect. When you remove unfulfilling relationships from your life you create a void that has a vacuum effect, pulling in new relationships to fill the empty space. The relationships you attract can be whatever you want them to be, but you have to tell the universe exactly what you want so that it can do it’s best to deliver it to you.
Why would you want to spend all of your time on unfulfilling relationships that make you feel like crap instead of ones that make you feel better, more alive, and happier? Over the last few years I have eliminated many relationships which I found to be disempowering. I was hanging out with people who had no goals, no ambition. They didn’t share the same values or have any direction their lives. Some of those friends were also depressed all the time, in a constant state of unhappiness. That is no way to live and you learn to live like the people who you surround yourself with. I didn’t see myself having a future that would be compatible with friends like that so I simply dropped communication with most of them and went my separate way. I didn’t do this in a rude way and I still love those people for the times we shared together, but our relationships were not fulfilling and I decided it was time to create new relationships with people who have more in common with who I am today.
You may feel like you are abandoning your friends by dropping communication with them. Sometimes you may feel like they need you to help them and you shouldn’t stop talking to them in case it hurts their feelings. This is all fear based thinking. It’s really you who is scared to let them go, or maybe you are scared to attract a new relationship either consciously or subconsciously. Don’t worry if it hurts their feelings when you begin to end your relationship with them. If you are not enjoying a relationship which is beneficial for all people involved, then the relationship is not a very healthy one and should be either improved or discarded.
Once you discard your disempowering relationships you should be prepared to attract new positive people into your life. Tell the universe to provide you with whatever type of relationship you’d like to attract. Be specific and don’t be afraid to add any details you’d like to your order. Don’t be shy and ask if maybe you could attract an alright relationship some day. Be confident and state exactly what you would like and then expect it to be delivered to you shortly.
Doubting that it’s possible will only encourage the universe to deliver more of the same boring unfulfilling relationships. This is a form of negative thinking, and it can stop your intentions from manifesting. If you are uncertain about something you create confusion surrounding it, and that’s what you will manifest. If you are too broad with your request and you leave it up to the universe to take a wild guess at what you want and to fill in all the blanks along the way it will try its best to bring you what you want, but it will probably not get it quite right and you will be stuck with another undesired relationship to discard.
Build strong relationships with people who have a clear idea of where they are going and what they would like to experience in their lives. Find people who have similar goals and desires to your own. If you were to ask them where they would like to be in 5 years or what goals they would like to have accomplished could they tell you? Would their answers satisfy you? If they can’t answer the question or if their goals are wishy-washy and you don’t think they will actually accomplish them or that they even want to accomplish them, then are they people who will be supportive and help you achieve your goals? Probably not. Try to find people who will help you achieve your goals and who you can help on their path as well. This will encourage a positive, growth oriented relationship that’s beneficial for everyone. Relationships like this are valuable and are much better than the unfulfilling, disempowering, or downright depressing ones that you’ve discarded.
Happy bridge burning!
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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
One of the best seminars I’ve ever been to was held by America’s Venture Capitalist Bill Walsh. He has this theory called “help or hurt”. Sometimes, like you mentioned it can be difficult to know what to do with a relationship, but Bill laid it out like this, “Help or Hurt!” I think in order to be a true winner, and to find true fulfillment in your life, this is the kind of attitude you need to have, which is synonymous with your theory of eliminating fear based thinking….
Awesome.